It seems that some people are confused.
About why I write.
And about who I am.
So let me clear a few things up.
I write because I am a teacher.
A teacher by profession (in a few short months) but also by existence.
I was a teacher from the moment I arrived on this earth.
I am a teacher, and so I write.
I write because my story will save lives.
Because what I have to say,
people need to hear.
I write, because I want to teach the world that life is hard sometimes.
And that is okay.
I write because it is good to crack open the facade that tells us to pretend everything is fine.
Everything doesn't have to be fine.
But you will still get through it.
My lessons do not come from books, here on this blog.
No lesson plans, no worksheets.
They come from me.
From my life.
My life is my worksheet.
These lessons come from who I am.
I am a teacher.
And so I will teach.
I will teach what pain feels like when you don't think you're good enough.
I will teach that you will get through it, too.
I will teach what it feels like when people question your authenticity. When people tell you that who you are isn't who you're supposed to be.
And I will teach you how to grow stronger from their lies.
I will teach that you are beautiful
Even if you don't look like all the other fish in the pond.
I will teach you that you are still so beautiful.
I will teach you this, because this is what I have learned. And I want you to learn it too.
I write because I am a survivor.
I write because I know that:
Growing up around alcoholism is hard
Having divorced parents is hard
Relationships are hard
Being sexually assaulted is hard
I write because I know all of those things to be true.
Because I lived them.
I do not write for attention (although some may think that)
I do not write for pity (although some may believe that)
I do not write for drama
Or shock value.
(Although if that's what gets you to stop and listen to what I have to say, then good.)
Because from what I have lived
And what I have learned
You can learn too.
Please excuse the long absence - I recently moved from my first ever (!!!) apartment in Illinois all the way across the country to Maryland, where I will be attending grad school for the next year. I am so very excited - I'm getting my masters in Education! - but this move has completely wiped me out (so much so that I stayed in bed the entire day yesterday doing absolutely nothing but letting my brain rest and recharge...boy did I need it!)
This has been my first real move - the first time packing my entire home up in boxes and plopping them on a truck, the first time being "kicked out" of a new home on a certain date because my lease was up, and certainly the first time living entirely on my own in a new state. For those of you curious, I will make an apartment post with pictures soon... as of right now I'm living out of a suitcase and sleeping on an air mattress on the floor (the movers should be here sometime this week...I hope! I miss my stuff.)
As I sit here reflecting on the adventures I've had with moving these past few weeks, I've learned a lot more about myself than I ever thought I would. Here are the 5 things I learned from moving across the country:
1. I have so much STUFF.
Packing up my little apartment took way longer than I ever expected, because I had so much STUFF. It felt like the 5 boxes I had donated to Goodwill made no dent in the amount of random THINGS I found myself packing up - yes, I certainly need 15 plates and cups, why would you ask? Psh, it doesn't matter that I'm living alone and my new kitchen has 3 cabinets...that kind of stuff. Had I had more time to organize and de-clutter before packing I would have probably thrown away a lot more...I'm having a feeling that is going to happen anyway when the movers finally get here, if only because my new place is a lot smaller...
2. I'm ready for this new adventure.
Throughout this entire process, I have been so darn excited to get out here and explore my new home. Yes, moving is terrifying. Yes, I'm leaving behind my entire family and a boyfriend whom I love very much. But I'm looking at this new part of my life as Greta-time. A chance to really get to know myself apart from my family or my friends. A chance to become the best version of myself that I can be. And I'm so ready.
3. Patience, patience, patience.
Lots of move-related things have not been going as planned - the movers themselves were 4 hours late picking up my stuff, I'm getting my stuff delivered at least a week later than I had anticipated, and my air mattress burst a hole in itself last night at midnight, right as I was ready to fall asleep, to name a few. But you know what? That's all part of life. I've been learning to laugh a lot at everything and recognize that everything will work out just exactly the way its supposed to. These things just take time.
4. My imperfections are beautiful.
Somewhere during the moving process my face decided to break out into hives. I think it was an allergic reaction to a face lotion I was using, but who knows. That being said, I was forced to take a make-up break for a while, and live with my dry, red, blotchy face. My boyfriend was sweet about it and kept reminding me that I was still beautiful, but to be perfectly honest I did not believe him at all. I'm a little less than a week into my no makeup journey and my skin has finally calmed down a bit. And I have to say, I think I finally believe him.
5. My opinions matter.
I'm learning such unexpected but important lessons during this move, and this has to be one of the most important for me. My opinions matter. My boyfriend has been amazing during this entire move and is going above and beyond to help get my apartment ready (he built me a bed frame and set up a tv! I'm so lucky). He had never been to NYC so once we finally got to my new apartment in Maryland we decided to take a trip there and explore the Big Apple. And while we were there, I kept finding myself worrying that he wasn't happy, or that we were doing things he didn't want to do (which, mind you, was entirely not the case). Every time I expressed a desire (usually along the lines of, "Can we sit down?" because my feet were hurting) I always followed it up with "Are you sure?" because I was terrified that I was asking something of him that he didn't want to do. So, we talked about it and I realized something. Guess what? In relationships and in life, people make compromises. And my desire to sit down, or my opinion that we should change our schedule a bit or whatever is just as valid and important as his. My needs are just as real as his. My voice matters.
I'm taking a bit of a Facebook/Instagram break for a while, so if you need me, feel free to reach out to me here. Once I get situated in my new home I will start back up with my Minimalism Project and new blog posts... Just know that I'm happy, safe, and learning SO MUCH out here on my new East Coast adventure!
A 20-something trying to find what it means to be me!